Another exciting edition of the Police Log from the Smalltown Press!
Tuesday, July 7. 12:10pm — 1400 block of South Pilgrim, hit and run. Report that a large boat pulling a truck caused driver to run off the road and hit the curb on the bridge. Damage was limited to the passenger’s side front tire. (If I saw a boat pulling a truck, I’d probably run off the road, too.)
Monday, July 27, 3:10pm — 9400 block of West Smith Street, vehicle breaking and entering. Victim reported that ex-boyfriend go [sic] into her unlocked vehicle and took a pair of blue jeans. (If it was unlocked, it wasn’t really breaking and entering, was it? Also, were the jeans hers or his? If they were his, then why is she complaining? If they were hers… then maybe I can understand why it’s an EX-boyfriend.)
Monday, July 27, 10 pm — Bell Creek and Delaware County Road 200-S, suspicious vehicle. Blue van occupied by two white males trying to hand out gifts. (Is generosity illegal now?)
Friday, July 31, 7:30 am — Players Club, theft of 15th hole flag (again). (Apparently Yorktown has a serial 15th hole flag thief. Everyone lock up your 15th hole flags.)
Friday, July 31, 7 pm — 8300 block of West Adaline, dog problem. Complainant said she was chased by a little dog on Haverhill. Located dog, advised owner to keep the dog put up. Dog looked to weigh about 5 pounds. (Are the police getting snarky now? Why the clarification that the dog weighed 5 pounds? Did the officer think a 5-pound dog wasn’t worth his time? Well, at least it wasn’t a “heavyset blond chihuahua.”)
Saturday, August 1, 2:35 pm — Assist on missing teen reported at a Smalltown park; mother would not give physical description or say what the girl was wearing. (So did she want the girl found or not? Doesn’t sound like she was too helpful…)
Ah, life in Smalltown.